I ordered new coats for my kids...
For convenience, I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section.
My son wanted a proper drum kit for his birthday but I got him a miniature one.
I'm now expecting wee percussions.
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
How does a farmer find new cows to buy?
He looks through the cattlelog.