Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle's bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, "These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could make them with no salt?"
Every day afterwards the pretzel was salt free. After a while the teacher felt she was making too much extra work for Little Johnny's uncle to make them without salt especially for her.
"Little Johnny, I hope your uncle is not going to any great time to prepare the pretzel without salt?"
"Oh no," replied Little Johnny, "he doesn't make them without salt. I lick the salt off."
"Darling," said the husband to his new bride, "I am not casting any reflections on your cooking, but I sure wish you could learn to make the kinda of bread my mother use to make."
"I don't think that should be too difficult," she said sweetly, "If you will learn to make the dough my father used to make."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."