Latest Jokes

$25.00 won 4 votes

I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.

If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

4 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$50.00 won 4 votes

I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.

It’s not like I did anything!

4 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

A southern grandmother went with the family to visit Niagara falls.

She decided to order ten hot dogs from the restaurant for the extended family.

When her number was called she was given tea and a hot dog.

She told the lady that she had ordered ten hot dogs.

The lady said, that's what we gave you, tea and a hot dog.

1 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Philip Farris" |
1 votes

An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over- zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.

The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.

Officer: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know where we're going."

Officer: "How long will you be gone?"
Husband: "About one month."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know how long we'll be gone."

Officer: "Where are you from?"
Husband: "We're from Toronto, Ontario."
Officer: "Toronto, huh. I was there once. Nice city. Had the worst romantic experience in my life."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He says he knows you!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |