Latest Jokes

Last week at the grocery store, I saw a man slipping celery into other people's shopping carts...

I believe he was a stalker.

Sarah, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.

"Rome was built at night," was his answer.

"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"

"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip, he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait, and he disappears into the lobby.

After a minute he comes back, with the woman on his arm. “Fancy meeting my 'wife' here,” he says to the clerk. “Guess I will need a double room for the night.”

The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000. “What is the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I have only been here for one night!”

“Yes,” says the clerk, “but your 'wife' has been here for three weeks!”