Latest Jokes

This yokel was applying for a job and was being asked the normal questions; Name, age, sex, address, etc.
The interviewer asks him for his father’s name and his mother’s maiden name.
What do you mean maiden name? The yokel asked.
What was your mother’s name before she was married?
None he replied, what do you mean none? Because I didn't have a mother before she was married.

A man being interviewed for a job was asked his name.
My name is Morris M. Morris he replied.
What does the M stand for?
Nothing he replied they just stuck it in to break the monotony.

A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”

Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. “No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”