Latest Jokes

Little Peter was taking his new puppy for a walk when a policeman stopped him.
“Has your dog got a license?” The policeman asked. “Oh, no,” answered Peter.
“He’s not old enough to drive.”

“I’d like to order a bar pizza,” the idiot says.
“Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices,” the barmaid asks.
“Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

I’m going to buy a farm two miles long and half inch wide said Jed.
What, would you grow on a farm that size, asked Roger.
Spaghetti, said Jed.

Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?
New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.