Latest Jokes

Larry tells Harry: When I grow up, I am going to be a policeman and follow in my father’s footsteps.
I did not know your father was a policeman, said Harry.
He is not …. He is a burglar replied Larry.

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?
‘Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.
'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?’

A drunk stumbles up to a woman in a bar and says “Hey baby, how about coming back to my place for a nightcap?
“That’ll be the day!” she says
”Well, howzabout having dinner with me tomorrow night then?”
“That’ll be the day!” she says
“Okay, why don’t we take my corporate jet and spend the weekend in Rome?”
“This’ll be the day.” She says