Latest Jokes

The economy is getting so bad; the other day my ATM gave me an IOU.

7 ways to annoy a flight attendant...

1- Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
2- Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
3- Think that because you’re on a plane you’re of duty as a parent.
4- Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy to lift by your self.
5- Gripe that you haven't been seated in the roomy exit row seat.
6- Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you".
7- Whine about the high cost of flying...

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Use a pencil until I get there.