Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Why did the scared cow say "Moo?"
Because it's a cow-word.
An elderly couple decided they just spent too much time and energy complaining about all their aches and pains.
“Let’s agree to not say a word about our ailments,” suggested the wife. “We’ll talk about something else or say nothing at all.”
“Great idea!” replied the husband.
Two months later, they got a message from Alexa. “Alexa is wondering if you are both OK. For the past two months we have picked up no verbal communication in your household.”
A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store.
On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."
He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.
As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."
A kindergarten teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her. She then removed her glasses to clean them.
"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on!"
Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"
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