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Favorite this joke Me: Mom, you're invading my personal space.
Mom: Well, you came out of my personal space, so that makes us even.
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. The parishioner heard Father Murphy mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Father Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"
He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!"
By this time, the parishioner couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked the priest, "Why do you say Hoover?"
"It's the biggest dam I know," he replied.
A man was contesting his speeding ticket in front of the judge.
Judge: Sir, it says here that you were speeding 20 miles over the speed limit.
Man: Impossible, your Honor. There’s NO WAY I could have been going that fast!
Judge: Really! Why is that?
Man: Well, my wife was away visiting her parents and after a week of partying, I was on my way to pick her up. The house was a mess, I hadn’t done any dishes, the bed wasn’t made in a week and there were pizza boxes all over the house. Now let me ask you, your Honor, do you think I’d be speeding to go pick her up?
Judge: Case dismissed!
After dinner one evening a the President was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano.
At one point he turned to the visitor and said, "I understand you love music?"
"Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never you mind, you keep right on playing..."
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