Latest Jokes

1 votes

For those struggling with the English language, this may help...

Don't = Do not

Won't = Wo not!

1 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
posted by "Francis Nicholas" |
2 votes

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 3 votes
 

I’m not interested in any diet plan...

Unless of course it lets me use rollover calories!

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."

1 votes

CATEGORY Scifi Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Marty" |