A man and his wife were returning from a party one evening. As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy, and irresistible to women you are?"
Totally flattered, he replied, "No dear, they haven't."
At that point she yelled, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?"
After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a cell phone lying on the floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, "Here's your phone."
"What makes you think its mine?" the ref asked.
"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls!"