Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.
Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?
Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I don't drink that awful stuff, it makes me nervous!
Mary: They have decaffeinated coffee, you know?
Sally: It's not the caffeine that makes me nervous... it’s the price!
A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player.
Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance.
She, of course, humbly responded, "It's the least I could do... especially since I won't be at the performance."