Latest Jokes

A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player.

Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance.

She, of course, humbly responded, "It's the least I could do... especially since I won't be at the performance."

Jill: What took you so long?

Jack: I was parking the car!

Jill: How long does it take to park a car?!

Jack: I kept driving around looking for an empty space, but I couldn't find one. As for the parking lots, their prices are outlandish! Finally, I found one place to park where the price was reasonable.

Jill: Where was that?

Jack: In a drive-in theater.

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.

All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled.

One man, popping his head out of his cubicle, said, "Oh, man! Someone's deodorant isn't working."

A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any."