Latest Jokes

A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots.
On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale.
Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the spokesman replied, "Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call.... 'Ted's or Hale's'."

Did you hear the invisible man married the invisible woman?
Their children weren't much to look at either.

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
The judge asks the baby bear, “Do you want to live with papa bear?”

The baby bear replied, "No, he beats me."

The judge asked, "So do you want to live with mommy bear?"

The baby bear said, "No, she beats me too."

The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"

The baby bear says, "With the Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone."

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university. She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.