A man traveling over 125 miles per hour on the interstate was stopped by a highway patrol. “Sorry, officer,” said the driver, “was I driving too fast?
“No, sir. Our were flying too low.”
The police officer: “You were exceeding the speed limit, ma’am, weren’t you?”
The driver: “Yes, I was, sir, but you see my brakes are so bad that I wanted to get home before I had an accident.”
Q: Under law, what is the maximum penalty for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.
“Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.”
“That is wonderful, son. I’m proud of you.”
“He said I had a criminal mind.”