Why did the idiot throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
A young bride tells her friend, “Paul keeps telling everyone he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.”
The friend replies, “What a shame, and after all the time you’ve been engaged too.”
One friend says to another, “My husband is man of rate gifts.”
“That’s nice.”
“He hasn’t given me a present in twenty-five years of marriage…”
“How are you getting on with your football, Jack?”
“Well, Dad, pretty good. The coach said I was one of the team’s greatest drawbacks!”