Latest Jokes

An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment:

How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help?
About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent? About 70% of the class raises their hand. The teacher still notices about 5% of the class did not raise their hands. She then calls out, "How many people had to help a parent complete your assignment?

Did you hear what happened to the optometrist?

He fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"

He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.

The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."

"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."