Guy: I hope I don't get a cake on my birthday.
Guy: Because I wouldn't be able to blow the candles out.
Guy: Because you just took my breath away!
A giraffe walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Do you want a longneck?"
The giraffe replied, “Do I have a choice?"
"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered
private. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army,
you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and
spit on my grave."
"Not me, Serge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of
the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!