The police officer: “You were exceeding the speed limit, ma’am, weren’t you?”
The driver: “Yes, I was, sir, but you see my brakes are so bad that I wanted to get home before I had an accident.”
Q: Under law, what is the maximum penalty for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.
“Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.”
“That is wonderful, son. I’m proud of you.”
“He said I had a criminal mind.”
“How are you getting on with your football, Jack?”
“Well, Dad, pretty good. The coach said I was one of the team’s greatest drawbacks!”