Latest Jokes

I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, “Do you need help?”

I said, “Yes, but I’m here to get whiskey instead.”

A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.

Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.

"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”

Simon: How were the exam questions?

Peter: Easy.

Simon: Then why do you look so unhappy?

Peter: The questions didn’t give me any trouble—just the answers.