Latest Jokes

The other day, I rang the Speaking Clock. It said, “What's the matter, can't you afford a watch? Are you too lazy to lift your arm up, you idiot?“

It was Greenwich Mean Time.

My daughter asked me, "What is a unit a power?"

I replied, "Correct."

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Joe: Every night I take two quarters to bed with me.

Peter: Whatever for?

Joe: They are my sleeping quarters.