A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions”
His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately”
Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the…..”
“What do you think of Red China?” One woman asked another during a party on world affairs.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the other woman. “I guess it would be all right if you use it on a white tablecloth.”
Stranger: Catch any fish?
Fisherman: Did I! I took 25 out of this stream this morning.
Stranger: Do you know who I am? I’m the game warden.
Fisherman: Do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar in the country.