Latest Jokes

There was an ant hill were the ants would work hard everyday making little houses for them, and every week an elephant would pass by and step on the little hill. The ants got tired of this happening so they decided to have a meeting about it. In the meeting the main ant said, "Fellow ants as you all know we are here to do something about this elephant," one of the ants raised his hand and yelled, "I have a plan, I have a plan". "Go ahead, what’s your plan,” said the leader. "Ok, this is what we'll do, next week when the elephant passes by before he steps on our hill we all jump on him and beat him up, that should teach him a lesson".

The following week they waited for the elephant, "He's coming, he's coming!" said a little ant. "Ok this is it,” said the main ant "JUMP ON HIM!" So all the little ants jumped on the huge elephant.

When the elephant felt all the ants and he shook them all off, all of them except for one. All the ants that were on the ground saw the ant that remains right on the elephant’s neck, so from the ground the other ants yelled out "CHOKE HIM! CHOKE HIM!"

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. " On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. "So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago"

Two cowboys are riding their horses together on the prairie. They come upon a big pile of manure. The first cowboy goes to the second, "I will bet you a $1000 that I can eat all of this crap." The second cowboy agrees, so the first cowboy eats the entire pile and wins $1000.

The two cowboys ride on and after some time come across another pile of manure. This time the second cowboy bets the first that he too can eat the whole pile for $1000. The first cowboy agrees and the second cowboy eats the entire pile and wins the bet.

They ride on again. After a while the first cowboy says to the second, "Do you realize that we just ate a whole pile of manure for nothing?"

Why did 18 Antartians go to the Movie? Simple, under 18 were not allowed to watch the movie.