Boy: "This darn bug is bothering the heck out of me! Where’s that can of spray insecticide... Oh, here it is. GOTCHA! Oh wow, I never knew bugs had so much blood in them."
Girl: "You idiot, you used the can of red spray paint!"
Anthony, my four-year-old grandson, was excited about the story he had learned at Christian day school.
"Grandma," he said enthusiastically, "it's about a woman God told not to look back."
"You mean Lot's wife?" I asked.
"Yes," Anthony's face brightened. "And you know what? She looked back and turned into the Statue of Liberty!"
Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a windsurfer.
“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.
The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with even a napkin!"
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn’t reach him. Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a beaver.