A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded.
"He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food, and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture."
Husband: I hate getting old. No one flirts with me anymore.
Hard-of-hearing Wife: I don't remember you ever doing that. In fact, it's rather disgusting.
Husband: What do you mean? You used to flirt all the time!
Wife: Flirt? Oh, I thought you said 'Fart'.
An older woman asked her techie grandson, "What's the deal with this Craigslist thing?"
"It's a website where you can buy and sell all kinds of things and more," he replied.
"Can you get rid of stuff there?" she asked.
"Yes, you can set a price or give things away that you don't want around the house anymore."
"I like the give away free idea. How do I get started?" the woman asked.
"Well, it's always good to have a picture," the grandson said.
"OK. Will this old wedding photo do?"
A man went to his doctor.
When the doctor entered the examining room, the man cried, “My hair is falling out! Can you give me something to keep it in?”
“Of course,” said the doctor reassuringly, and he handed the man a small box. “Will this be big enough?”