Son: Dad!, Dad! I got a part in the school play! I play the husband.
Dad: Too bad they did not give a speaking role.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
“Where were you? I was worried sick.”
“It was such nice day, I decided to walk.”
Why do black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
One friend to another, "Did you know that the shortest sentence in the English language is 'I am'?”
"Really? What’s the longest sentence?"