Latest Jokes

A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; "Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?"
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey."
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother?" She sweetly asked again.
"Yes?" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all grey?"

A young lady to her friends: "You know I have never been kissed by any man except my husband."
One friend: "Are you boasting or complaining?"

A guy gets into a taxi after a boozy night out and halfway through the journey wants to stop and buy cigarettes. He taps the driver on the shoulder and suddenly the driver screams, swerves across the road and mounts the sidewalk stopping just short of a brick wall.
All was quiet for a few moments and then the driver turns around and says "Don't EVER tap me on the shoulder whilst I'm driving EVER again". The guy says, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would scare you so much"
The driver replies, "It wouldn't normally but this is my first night as a taxi driver and up until yesterday, for twenty five years, I was driving a Hearse.

An elderly man who denies he is being forgetful was asked by his wife to get a cup of coffee at midnight. "Oh sure my dear, and what else?" "That's it honey, the last time you got me a coffee, you forgot to put sugar and cream," the old wife remarked. "That's not true, for as long as I can remember, I do not forget anything,” boasts the grandpa. "OK sweetheart, in that case, please get me some cookies too," was the sweet reply of grandma. "As you wish my dear," says the hubby, then he adds, "by the way, how do I go to the kitchen?"