Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 2 votes

Life hack...

You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$50.00 won 3 votes

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart.

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 1 votes

My brother was having a tough time losing weight.

Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”

Mike answered, “Want to split two?”

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |
1 votes
 

I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.

What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning your juicer.

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |