Latest Jokes

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action movie about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarsenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a fan of Chopin,” said Bruce. “And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" replied Sly. “And what about you?" he asked Arnold. "If I’m not Bach, I’ll be Hayden!"

Men are like a pack of Cards:
A "heart" to love them
A "diamond" to marry them
A "club" to smack them and
A "spade" to bury the body...

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. “No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.

Confusius say: "Man who run behind car get exhausted, but man who run in front of car get tired."