A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives. He says; these ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do?
The psychiatrist says; that's easy … just sharpen the tops of the posts.
A driving instructor: What would you do if you were going up an icy hill and the motor stalled and brakes failed?
His student replied; I’d quickly adjust the rearview mirror.
Lisa: Do you really lover, or do you just think you do?
Bob: Honey, I really lover you. I haven’t done any thinking yet.
A man looking for love sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club.
The reply came back, “We are not that lonely.”