Latest Jokes

Wife: I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?
Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.00

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”

An inebriated crook had a little problem and ended up at the police station.
“Couldn’t you get that crook to confess to the crime?” asked the police chief.
“We tried everything, Sir. We browbeat and badgered him wit every question we could think of.”
“How did he respond?
He just dozed off and said now and then: “Yes, Dear. You are perfectly right.”

“Hello, police department? I’ve lost my cat and… "

“I'm sorry lady, but this is not a police job, you can try calling…"

“But you don’t understand, this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human. He can practically talk.”

“Well, in that case ma'am, you’d better hang up. He may be trying to call you right now.”