Latest Jokes

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Why did 18 Antartians go to the Movie? Simple, under 18 were not allowed to watch the movie.

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posted by "Henry" |
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One psychologist greets another on the street: "You're fine, how am I?"

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posted by "Herb Wilkins" |
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing and
staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the
pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque, too, he
said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, not taking his eyes off
the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,
"Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

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posted by "Vivienne" |
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A skydiver is enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. He pulls the ripcord, but nothing happens. “No problem,” he says to himself, “I still have my emergency chute.”

So he pulls the ripcord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic. “What am I going to do?” He thinks. “I’m a goner.”

Just then, he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can’t figure out where this man is coming from or what he’s doing, but he says to himself, “I hope he can help me. If he can’t, then I’m in real trouble.”

When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts, “Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?”

The man coming up cups his hands and yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

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posted by "Anonymous" |