How do you catch a squirrel that likes hazel nuts?
Climb a tree, act like a nut but whisper, "Oh, Filbert."
A giraffe walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Mug or long neck?"
There was a man who always acted like he knew everything. On one occasion he accompany a friend to buy a computer. Looking at an optical mouse, his friend asks "Why use light when you can use the ball?" The guy thought for a minute and said; "You can use it as a flashlight when the power goes out!"
Travis and McGee met over a beer in the local pub. After a while the subject of sports came up. Travis asked McGee, "Do you play golf?"
"Sure," said McGee, "I play well enough to know why they call it 'golf'."
Puzzled, Travis asks, "Why do they call it 'golf'?"
"Because," replied McGee, "that's the only 4-letter word left!!"