Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir?
Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was!
A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre.
However, after planning the robbery and getting in and out and past security, he was captured only three blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: To win the no-bell prize.
A Skeleton walks into a bar and says,
“Give me a beer and give me a mop.”