Two guys are driving in the countryside. One says, "Tiger Wood... isn't he famous or something?"
"Yeah, I think he plays golf or something."
"Does he have a brother named Fire who's in jail?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"I just saw a sign that said 'FREE FIRE WOOD!'"
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you tell the class what the word Pejorative means?"
Little Johnny: "Pejorative, an adjective, having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force."
Teacher: "I'm impressed, you must have been studying."
Little Johnny: " Not really, I was channel surfing and happened to be on C-Span when the remotes battery died."