Patient: I was born C-Section and every time I leave my house I constantly fight the urge to go out the window.
Doctor: On a scale of one to ten how bad is this problem?
Patient: I’d have to say a ten considering I live on the 88th floor of a high rise.
What do you call two birds stuck together?
Vel-Crow
At the County Fair the couple’s 50 Yard Dash event entailed the ladies jumping on the backs of their partners and riding to the finish line.
Of the fifty couples beginning the race only three couples left the starting line. Oddly enough, in all three men who did leave the starting line were all named Mark; not a Willie or a Sam in the bunch.
The judges said, “Well that’s it, next year we’re not going to say on your mark, get set, go.”
Judy: I’ve made such delicious plans for a June wedding, but my boyfriend keeps postponing things.
Jane: Like what?
Judy: Like the proposal!