Latest Jokes

I finally quit drinking for good...

Now I'm just gonna drink for evil.

I used to be an owner,

Now I'm a renter.

I used to go to the bars,

Now I go to the senior center!

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”

Well, she didn't put it quite like that. What she actually said was, “Dad, this is my new boyfriend, he supports the Washington Commanders."