Latest Jokes

A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name is."

The boy then leaned over and whispered, “My name is David."

The president of a movie-studio who was not exactly noted for his knowledge of the English language received a well written story titled “The Optimist.” After reading the manuscript, he called a gathering of the most creative minds and announced, “Gentlemen, we got us a great story here, but I want all of you to think of something simpler for a title. There ain’t many people will know the technical term for eye doctor.”

A couple is traveling on the Kansas Turnpike resisting 40 to 50 mph crosswinds. At the tollbooth, the husband asks the attendant; “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind stops?” The attendant didn’t miss a beat when he answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”

The football team was getting clobbered. The first-string quarterback was injured. The second-string quarterback was injured. Even the punter was injured. All the coach had left was their third-stringer who had yet to play a down all year. He pulled the quarterback aside. "Look son, we can't afford to let them score again. We've got to run some time off the clock. Here's what I want you to do."

"On first down, run it to the left. On second down, run it to the right. On third down run it up the middle. The, on fourth down, punt it as far as you can punt it. "OK coach!" said the quarterback.

On first down he ran it to the left for 30 yards. On second down he ran it to the right for 40 more. On third down he ran it up the middle down to the one yard line. Then, on 4th down, the quarterback dropped back and punted the ball right out of the end zone.

When he got to the sideline, the coach was screaming! "What were you thinking?!!!?!!!"

The quarterback replied, "I was thinking I must be playing for the dumbest coach in the world."