Latest Jokes

The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification re-enforcers”.

Alarm that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the physician’s office to inquire,

“What on earth are behavior modification re-enforcers?”

“Lollipops,” was the reply.

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. “As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say ‘$150.’ “If her eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $100.’ “If her eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.’”

A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.

A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. “We need a fourth for poker,” the voice on the phone said. “I’ll be right over,” replied the doctor. As he was putting on his overcoat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious,” he said gravely. “They’ve had to call in three other doctors as well.”