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Favorite this joke At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children."
As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable."
Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify...
Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable."
As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"
A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud 'hiss-pop!' noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explained the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reached the part of the factory where condoms were manufactured. The machine made a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"
"Wait a minute!" said the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"
"Oh, it's rather like the baby-bottle nipple machine," said the guide, "but here the needle pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"No," the guide said, "but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes...
They did unspeakable things to him!
Jack and his friend walk into a restaurant when they happen to bump into the Jack’s former teacher.
Introducing his teacher, Jack says, “This is Mr. Miller, my high school teacher who always used to correct me and taught me everything I know.”
“Young man,” said Mr. Miller, “you mean I taught you everything you didn’t know, don’t you? I’m not in the habit of teaching students what they already know.”
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