Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 1 votes

What is a Pessimist?

The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

1 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
posted by "nerdasaurus" |
$12.00 won 2 votes

A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while.

Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy... just haven't gone 'doody' yet."

Mother says: "OK, you can stay here a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says: "Works for ketchup!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons."

As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon, and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory.

"Why wooden spoons?" I asked.

"Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to twenty-three metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'll go nuts."

1 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "merk" |