Latest Jokes

I felt a little lightheaded so I booked an online virtual doctor’s appointment with my physician at One Medical.

“What seems to be your problem?” asked the doc.

“I’m lightheaded and I think I might be anemic,” I stated.

“Well, let’s get some blood work ordered and we’ll know for sure,” replied the doctor. “Anything else I can help you with?”

"Yes, I’m wondering if I can still add a few items to my Amazon Fresh order?”

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat.

You know you are getting old when your boss hires a new employee...

And you find out that you used to hang around with their grandpa when you were growing up.

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says, "Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."