Latest Jokes

How does a squid go into battle?

Well-armed!

A nurse’s station at a hospital gets a phone call. The caller says, "I’m calling about Mr. Smith in room 403. How is he doing?”

The nurse replies, “His blood pressure went up and we treated him. He’s okay now.”

The voice asks, “Are you sure? I’m worried about him and was wondering if he’ll be at the hospital for long.”

“No, he’s fine now,” says the nurse. “In fact, he will be discharged tomorrow. Would you like to talk to him?”

“No thanks,” says the voice. “This is Mr. Smith in room 403. I’ve been looking for some information but there is never anyone around."

Sign seen in repair shop (directed at customers):

Hourly rate: $100

Hourly rate if you sit and watch: $125

Hourly rate if you sit, watch, and comment: $150

Hourly rate if you sit, watch, comment, and "help": $200

1. At a movie theatre, which 'arm rest' is yours?

2. In the word scent, is the "S" silent or "C"?

3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?