Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 1 votes

Harry the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.

"Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you've ever experienced. You'll have a chauffeur driven limousine service anywhere in the universe, plus deluxe accommodations at our luxury hotel with all the amenities -- pool, Jacuzzi, indoor tennis courts, and more. Then after your day of relaxation, dine at any of our 5-star restaurants savoring the finest of any cuisine known to man."

At this point, Harry gives his wife a shove in the ribs with his elbow. "If it wasn't for you and that stupid oat bran, we'd have been here ten years ago!"

1 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

My new AARP membership arrived in today’s mail as a scratch & sniff card.

I scratch my head over saving a buck on a hotel room and sniff back the tears of joining the blue-haired 4:45 dinner special.

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Wano U" |
1 votes

I'm working on a newsletter about various fungi and molds.

Still working on a name for it.

I'm sorta leaning toward 'Lichen Subscribe.'

1 votes

posted by "aod318" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

A man dies and goes to heaven. As he walks towards the heaven, he passes by the hell. His curiosity gets better of him and he peeks inside and sees people laughing, singing, a band playing heartily and people are all dancing. He thinks to himself, "If hell is this lively, I cannot wait to see what heaven looks like."

He proceeds and walks into heaven. Heaven is all quiet, serene, birds chirping, flowers blooming, sun is shining. He looks around and sees a man sitting leisurely under a tree. He walks up to him and says, "I just peeped into hell and there everyone was laughing, singing, dancing and they even had a band playing great music. In contrast, it's so quiet in here. The man sitting says, "What did you think? Should we have hired a band here too just for one person?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Veronica Sehnaz" |