At Sunday dinner I told my wife and my son a joke. They didn't laugh. They said I was not funny. So, the next week I took two pieces of paper and wrote "Humor" on the paper. I then found a scented candle my wife likes and taped one piece of paper to it.
I also took the glass jar where she puts her pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters and taped the other piece of paper. I put them both on the table. When my wife saw them, pointing to the candle she asked, "What's this?"
I said, "This is your Scent of Humor."
She then pointed to the glass jar with all the coins in it, "And what's this?"
My reply: "This is your Cents of Humor."
The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."