Latest Jokes

The difference between complete and finished?
If you marry the right one, that's complete.
If you marry the wrong one, that's finished.
If you marry the right one and then get caught with the wrong one, that's completely finished.

From Readers Digest

A corny talk on the farm...
Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends?
And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!

A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places.
Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load?
I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil.
Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal?
Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!

What do you call a group of musical pigs?
An oinkestra!