There is this boat on a jungle tour crowded with cheerful and motivated tourists. That was when they saw a frog sitting on the edge of the boat with a languid and sad look holding on to his old guitar. A tourist asks the captain what was the meaning of that?

- Look, sir. He likes attention, he is a "show frog" and plays and sings for fun. Whenever someone touches his left leg, he then raises his left leg and plays popular music. And whenever you touch his right leg, he raises his right leg and plays soft music .

- And if someone touches both his legs?

- Don't be dumb sir, if you touch both his legs, then he raises both legs, falls backwards, and sinks in the water.

Two bumpkin chicks in the hen house are discussing about the bad feed they eat.
This shorter one is just listening, not answering to the talkative one. All of a sudden he stops and says: I have decided to go to College on a night course.
Why is that, why such an urgent matter?
My relatives, all of my folks, and my friends are been humiliated, they are all fed up with this lousy feed, but worse of all, to be called bumpkin and hick all the time, you silly. I will become an attorney and won’t be humiliated anymore.

There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves.
You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!

A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places.
Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load?
I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil.
Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal?
Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!