The teacher said; Tommy, this is the fifth day this week you’ve had to stay after school. What have you to say for yourself?
I’m certainly glad it’s Friday, said Tommy.
Three rather deaf friends meet on the street; “Windy, isn’t it? Said one. “No, it’s Thursday,” said the second. “So am I,” said the third. “Let’s go and have a beer.”
The census taker knocked on Miss Gibson’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. “But everybody tells their age to the census taker,” the man said. “Did Miss Mary Hill and Miss Patty Hill tell you their ages?”
“Certainly.” Well, I’m the same age as they are,” she snapped. “As old as the Hills,” the man wrote on his form.
The trumpet player had been blasting away all day, when there was a knock on his door. “I live next door to you,” he explained. “Do you know I work nights?” “No,” said the trumpet player, “but if you hum a few bars, I’ll get the melody.”