A skeleton walks down empty Main Street. Suddenly he sees another skeleton carrying a gravestone. "Hey, what are you doing?” the other skeleton answers "Just strolling", "Why do have the gravestone, buddy?", "Because I always want to have some ID”.
An Israeli author was searching for a book store that would allow him to schedule a booksigning to promote his new novel. Book store after book store refused him with one disapproving commment after the other. Finally, the author seized on the idea that he should contact the specialty stores for his proposed booksigning. He had the idea to contact a feminist book store and his call was screened by the store's assistant manager. Upon insistence, by the author, that he speak directly with the manager; an angry manager took the phone to explain why the author was being refused a booksigning. "IT'S BECAUSE THE HEBREW WORD FOR: SHE!....IS: HE!" And with those words the author heard a telephone being slammed down loudly, in his ear.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in the bakery?
A: It burned 20 cakes and 30 loaves of bread, and there were plenty of hot cross buns!
2:00 a.m. and the street was deserted, so as the man pulls up to the red light he looks around all ways and seeing no one he rolls on through it. He is pulled over and he says to the cop really officer? No one is around I slowed down and looked, nobody was coming so I just went. No harm done. The officer said I can show you the difference very easily, step out of the car please, and maybe you won’t get a ticket. Willingly he stepped out and the officer proceeds to beat him with his night stick, and says “Now sir would you like me to slow down.. or stop.