Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?
Answer: Because the "P" is silent
Timothy :Why are you catching so many fleas?
Mike :Didn't you see the Notice Board?
There's going to be a Flea Market at
our Apartment Lobby tomorrow morning.
Mike, Jack, and Gary go for a hike in the woods. They are out about an hour enjoying the sights when they come around a sharp bend in the trail and spot a bear just in front of them feeding off some vegetation next to the trail. The bear lets out a menacing growl when it notices the hikers. Mike says "jump up and down, make some noise to scare it away". Jack says “that won't work, we need to play dead". They both ask Gary “what do we do?" There is no reply. Turning around they see Gary far down the trail behind them.
The difference between complete and finished?
If you marry the right one, that's complete.
If you marry the wrong one, that's finished.
If you marry the right one and then get caught with the wrong one, that's completely finished.
From Readers Digest