I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!

Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club? He looked at club after club after club. His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?" He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!"

Did you hear about the elephant who was always left out of things and thus felt irrelephant?

Watson came excitedly to Sherlock Holmes place and told him his dog had swallowed his ring. Sherlock told Watson "Don't worry. He will pass it eventually". Watson replies "Thank you very much, Sherlock". Sherlock says to Watson."It's alimentary, my dear Watson"