Latest Jokes

Dogs may not be able to use the Internet but they do have pee-mail.
When they go outside they always want to check their messages and leave a status update.

Conversations with Inanimate Objects:

"You never did love me! You only want me for my money!" - Your ATM Card
"I can see right through you!" - X-ray machine

Conversation in the kitchen:

Refrigerator: (to microwave) "You're hot!"

Microwave: "I know. And you're not!"
Vacuum cleaner: "Geez, that's cold! Brr.."
Refrigerator: (to vacuum cleaner) "Shut up, you suck! Go and eat my dust!"

Did you hear about all the magicians in the country starting their own union? Just say 'work' and they disappear!

Today, in the UK, the average man has 1.7 children.

I was told this fact by my 0.3 brother.