Latest Jokes

A Policeman came to my door yesterday and asked, “Where were you between four and six?” So I said, "Probably in kindergarten or first grade.”

The CEO of a major corporation asked his press officer to write a twenty-minute speech for the shareholders meeting. Upon his return from the meeting he is furious at the press officer.

“Are you trying to kill my career?” the executive barks. "I asked for a twenty-minute speech and you give me an hour-long speech! People were standing up and walking out.”

“No,” says the press officer, “I gave you exactly what you requested… a twenty-minute speech and two extra copies.”

A famous doctor was being interviewed the news media. Looking to spice things up a little, one reporter asked if the doctor had ever made any serious mistakes.
“Well, yes,” the doctor sighed. “I once cured a multimillionaire.”
“How was that a mistake? The reporter asked.
The doctor shook his head wearily. “I did it in one visit!”

A passenger was having difficulty lugging his oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.

“Do you always carry such heavy luggage? she asked, winded.

“Never again!” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my friend can buy the ticket!"