Latest Jokes

I’m worried about your heart murmur,” the doc told Jack. “I’ve always had a heart murmur,” Jack protested. “Yeah,” replied the doc, “but now the murmur has started
humming.” “That doesn’t sound good!” Jack was getting worried now. “It’s worse than you think,” the doc said. “It’s humming ‘Nearer My God to Thee.’”

Only in America: We work hard on a farm so we can move into town, where we can make more money… so we can move back to the farm.

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is my money really all gone?”
He wailed. “No, no,” the advisor answered calmly. “It’s just with somebody else!”

A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse. She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “today’s investment will pay big dividends!”