Latest Jokes

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is it true? Is my money really all gone?” he asked, wailing.

“No, no, take it easy,” the advisor answered calmly. “It isn't all gone... it’s just with somebody else.”

It was only her second date with a diehard baseball fan, and Sally was a little nervous. It was her fault they arrived at the ballpark a full hour after the game had started. Taking her seat, Sally glanced up at the scoreboard. It was a tight pitcher’s battle, bottom of the fifth, 0-0. “Look, John,” she exclaimed with relief, “we haven’t missed a thing.”

After successfully getting their big line items approved in the congressional spending package, two lobbyists were celebrating at a Washington restaurant.
“You know,” mused one, “it’s a crying, shame our grandchildren and great-grandchildren haven’t been born yet so they can see the terrific things the government‘s doing with their money.

A psychiatrist received a postcard from one of his clients, who was vacationing in Spain.

“I’m having a great time! Wish you were here to tell me why.”