Latest Jokes

Bill was showing Joe the family album, and came across a picture of himself and his wife on their wedding day. “Was that the day Mommy came to work for us?” Joe asked.

A woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: “a can of peaches.” The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

The millionaire was arrested for speeding and brought before the judge in a small community. When the judge offered him the alternative of paying a $10 fine or serving ten days in jail the millionaire decided to take the ten days. “But, my good man, you are wealthy,” said the judge, amazement ringing his face. “Why you should prefer ten days in jail to paying a $10 fine is beyond me.” “It’s like this, Judge,” the man explained. “Our chef left and my wife figures it’ll take that long to find a new one.”

The farmer met his kin at the railroad station. “Uncle, I’m mighty glad to see you, he greeted. “That crate of chickens you sent me bust open just as I was going to take ‘em out and they ran all over the place. I chase ‘em through my neighbor’s yard and only got back eleven.” “You did okay,” said uncle. “I only sent you six.”