My mate recently got divorced from his wife.
They decided to split the house.
He got the outside.
Be careful driving on the holidays.
The roads will be crazy.
A lot of guys get drunk so their wives will be driving.
I took Buzz Lightyear Christmas shopping with me.
We went to Bed, Bath & Beyond!
My family likes to sing carols during the holidays. Alas, I have a cold this year, so when I offered to lead one of the carols, my cousin suggested that I sing away in a manger...
Far, far away, in a manger.