Latest Jokes

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, it's a good thing...

But if you donate five kidneys, it's a bad thing and they call the police.

The preacher was going for a dinner visit at the home of a family where the Dad was a member of the church but the mother was not. The mother was agreeable that her husband could invite the preacher to the house for a meal though. When the preacher arrived, the mother was still working in the kitchen so he sat in the living room getting acquainted with the children.

"What are we having for dinner?" he asked.

"Crow," said the little girl.

"Oh," he said, perplexed, "do you mean chicken?"

"No," said the little girl. "Mommy said we are having the ole crow for dinner."

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."