The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."
Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"
Wife nodded in the affirmative.
"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."
An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health.
“You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man,” he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger.”
“Who asked you to make me younger?” the man replied. “You just make sure I keep getting older!”
I had been in heaven as an Apprentice Angel for about three months and was enjoying my stay. The day came when I was called to visit God.
GOD: "You are about to get your wings."
ME: "Lemon pepper of Barbeque?"
GOD: "Get out... just go..."